Camp Lockhart
by Beckintime
Summary: Hogwarts is a military camp and Gilderoy Lockhart comes to pay a visit.


**My themed entry for Round 8 of the houses competition**

 **House: Ravenclaw**

 **Category: Themed**

 **Prompt: Assault course**

 **W/C: 953**

Colonel Gilderoy Lockhart was a famous retired Royal Marine Commando cross MI6 agent, who, in his youth, used to hunt down the world's most heinous criminals; from bank-robbers to mass-murders, Gilderoy had found them all. Gilderoy had, of course, wrote about all of these encounters, published them and settled down, retiring at thirty-five, a multi-millionaire.

When Luna Lovegood heard that Gilderoy Lockhart was coming to Hogwarts Military base to oversee their training, she was both amused and excited for she hadn't ever met a famous person before. But when he crunched up the gravel drive and through the steel, grey gates, in nothing other than a stark white Rolls Royce, she couldn't help but laugh a little at it all.

Having just finished their morning exercises, she stood to attention with the other Cadets as Colonel Lockhart left his car to stalk up and down the troops, his bright, blue eyes gleamingly hungrily as he stared them down, his golden curls, a stark contrast to the mud-covered cadets who stood in front of him.

"You're probably wondering why I am here," he started. "I'm here to oversee your training." He smiled gleefully, which fell as he noticed the tired cadets, including Luna, following their training and not reacting.

"Well, don't look that glum about it, you all know who I am right?" And from a tweed satchel that matched his parade lovats he produced a copy of his book, ' _Anarchy with an Arsonist',_ put on a dazzling smile, and said, "Recognise me now?" Luna nodded in affirmation as did a couple of others.

Still dissatisfied with the response, the colonel stated, "Okay then, we shall start in an hour, over by the assault course. No need to shower, where you're going,you're about to get a lot worse."

"What are we doing, Sir?" Officer Cadet Hermione asked, looking as if she gazed upon her future.

Gilderoy aimed his dazzling smile at her as he said, "Why an assault course of course!" to the couple of groans this initiated from the group, he laughed and said, "don't worry, I had to do a lot worse than this in the depths of Iran, which if any of you are interested I can tell you all about and maybe give you a little glimpse at my next book."

The others became doe-eyed, their composure breaking as Gilderoy tempted them.

And with that, he marched off. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and Luna cocked her head to one side as she watched the strange man bumble to the officers quarters.

Hermione came up to her and sighed, "Did you see him? Did you Luna! He smiled at me! Gilderoy Lockhart smiled at me!"

Officer Cadet Neville, eyes wide in awe, said, "He smiled at you? I'm so jealous, he just looked over me, but do you think if I asked him, he'd give me some tips on how to be as awesome as him?"

Luna looked at the other two."I've never understood why he's such a big deal really?" She trailed off, retracting into her own thoughts.

Hermione looked like she had been slapped as she practically shouted, "Not such a big deal! Have you been living under a rock? This is Gilderoy Lockhart!"

"I suppose," Luna muttered, still not really seeing the point yet knowing there was no real point arguing with Hermione. "Let's just get ready for whatever this assault course entails."

It turned out to be hell on Earth.

Gilderoy screamed at the sidelines for them to speed up, improve their technique, still in his pristine smart uniform as they ran, head to toe in oily, thick mud.

He punished those who couldn't do obstacles and as her and her friends battled both the course and the abuse hurled at them from the sidelines. Luna felt herself getting more and more frustrated.

They had been battling on for what felt like hours when hope gleamed upon the horizon.

Each step now draining them of both willpower and strength, they approached the final obstacle.

The wall loomed over them, the shadow it cast stretching to engulf them. 14 feet of flat wooden planks stood tall opposing them.

After a couple of minutes discussing ideas, many were ready to quit and just walk around, even if it meant disobeying a direct order, failing the task, and potentially minor insubordination consequences.

Luna's eyes suddenly snapped up to the wall, an idea forming in her head.

If they could make a human pyramid, supporting each other over it, they didn't need to do it individually. But once a couple where at the top, they could help the others over.

Consulting the group about the idea, they came to an agreement. as it was Luna's idea, she orchestrated the arrangement. Gilderoy looked on for once quiet, seemingly slightly annoyed his challenge had been so easily foiled by none other than a cadet.

Luna ended up being the last one to attempt the climb, helping others up and over first. She took several paces back to get a sizeable run-up and ran at the wall with all she had, the mud underneath sticking to her boots.

She hurled herself at the wall, kicking off it to get a few extra feet, and just as she thought she was going to grip the outstretched hands, she fell.

She fell into a deep pile of mud, splattering it up everywhere.

The mud didn't just cover her, though, and while she failed the challenge and was put on cleaning duties for a month, she couldn't help but giggle, remembering the horrified look on Colonel Lockhart's face as his once pristine self, was now covered, like them, head to foot in viscous sludge.


End file.
